Joseph hates you all, i’m just here for the food!

You know there are a couple of things I have learned on my journey through this crazy thing called life. One: life is too short to eat shitty food. Two: since when did drinking wine become the most pretentious thing since the metropolitan opera on a saturday afternoon. and three: I wont go down in history but I will go down on your sister and the only reason she let me is because I took her out to a nice dinner and made her feel like a lady. Who knows gentlemen, maybe it would behoove you to show the ladies out there we have more to our lifestyles than sex and sports (even though it is 98% of the time) and ladies although your man should always pay the bill, it is nice to treat him once in a while on days that are not his birthday. Not only do you get time to show someone you care but you also get a splendiferous meal to accompany a night of wine drinking and maybe some bad decisions.*

Sincerley, your self proclaimed food and wine innovator

JCL

(*Partial segments quoting Californications Hank Moody from Season 1 Episode 2)